Coffee Drinks for Every Personality Type: An Unserious List
Every person is wonderfully unique — that’s part of what makes life so interesting. That being said, we also like to find ways to identify ourselves with those around us while also understanding more about ourselves. Cue Myers-Briggs personality tests, opens in a new tab, enneagrams, and every BuzzFeed quiz you took in high school.
All of that’s fun, but have you ever thought about how all of those traits might translate when it comes to coffee? Even if you haven’t, we have — that’s why we’ve made the ultimate list of coffee drinks for every personality.
The Minimalists: Black Coffee
If your go-to order is a straight-up black coffee, you’re probably not here for the frills. No caramel swirls, no foamy extras — just a dark, unfiltered jolt of caffeine. You keep things simple, efficient, and to the point.
You’re likely the type who wears the same outfit every day (we see you, Steve Jobs), prefers function over flash, and doesn’t have time for nonsense — your friends know better than to text you before you’ve had your first cup. Your drink of choice is probably a black coffee, espresso, or an Americano.
The Comfort Seekers: Lovely Latte
Lattes, opens in a new tab are smooth, creamy, and just the right amount of indulgent. So, it stands to reason that lattes belong to the person who always has snacks on hand, offers killer hugs, and somehow remembers everyone’s birthday. You love the comforting blend of milk and espresso because, let’s be honest, life is already bitter enough.
Your vibe is warm, approachable, and occasionally a little indecisive (oat milk or almond today?). You might have a Pinterest board dedicated to “cozy aesthetics,” and that’s part of what your friends love about you. Your go-to drink is a classic latte, a vanilla latte when you’re feeling fancy, and a chai latte when you need a coffee break but still crave the vibe.
The Adventurers: Espresso
If you drink straight espresso, you mean business. No diluting, no distractions — just a concentrated shot of ambition. You’re the type who thrives on deadlines, enjoys the thrill of a challenge, and might even consider running a marathon for fun.
You laugh in the face of exhaustion (or at least pretend to) and refuse to be slowed down by life’s minor inconveniences. You’re a high-energy go-getter who probably has five projects going at once. To fuel up before each adventure, you order a single or double shot of espresso — or a ristretto, opens in a new tab if you’re feeling particularly intense.
The Sophisticated Sippers: Flat White
Flat white drinkers are here to make a statement. You know what you like, and you won’t settle for anything less. You appreciate the finer things in life — good coffee, minimalist design, and the perfect foam-to-espresso ratio.
While some might call you particular, you prefer “refined.” You’re not here for overly sweet concoctions or watered-down brews. You have opinions (strong ones) on everything from coffee beans to the proper way to pronounce “croissant.” Your go-to drink is a flat white, of course — maybe a macchiato, opens in a new tab if you’re in the mood to switch things up.
The Go-With-the-Flow-ers: Instant Coffee
Instant coffee drinkers, we see you. You’re all about convenience, and honestly, we respect it. You don’t have time to fiddle with pour-overs or espresso machines — you just need caffeine, and you need it now.
You might be a bit of a procrastinator, but somehow, you always pull things off at the last minute. Your friends describe you as chill, adaptable, and maybe even a little forgetful (don’t worry, we have something that can help with that, opens in a new tab). Your drink of choice is instant coffee because effort is overrated.
The Trendsetters: Espresso Tonic
If you drink espresso tonics, you were probably into oat milk, opens in a new tab before it was cool and had a vinyl collection before everyone started calling them “aesthetic.” You don’t just follow trends — you create them.
Mixing espresso with tonic water? Genius. You appreciate contrast in all things — that’s why your go-to drink is bitter yet bubbly, bold yet refreshing. Your wardrobe is effortlessly cool (even though it took 45 minutes to curate today’s outfit), and your Instagram is filled with well-lit coffee shop shots.
While others are just discovering espresso tonics, you’ve already moved on to the next underground coffee movement. Your drink is espresso tonic, and when that gets too mainstream, you’ll move onto something else the world has yet to discover.
The Trend-Followers: Pumpkin Spice
Pumpkin spice lovers, don’t let the haters get you down. Some might call you basic, but you know what? Basic tastes amazing. You embrace the changing seasons with full enthusiasm — cozy sweaters, crisp autumn air, and yes, an Instagram post with your PSL in hand.
You’re the friend who organizes group activities (apple picking, anyone?) and makes sure everyone gets together for movie night. You find joy in the little things, and there’s no shame in loving a seasonal classic. And when December hits and the PSL is officially out of season, your order probably shifts to a peppermint mocha, opens in a new tab — because seasonal joy is your whole personality.
The Old Souls: French Press
French press drinkers are the deep thinkers of the coffee world. You appreciate the slow process, the rich aroma, and the satisfaction of manually pressing your brew. You probably read classic literature for fun and own at least one well-loved notebook filled with deep thoughts.
Your vibe is thoughtful, introspective, and maybe just a little bit nostalgic. You believe in quality over quantity and will happily debate the superiority of immersion brewing over drip coffee, opens in a new tab.
Is it any wonder that your drink of choice is a strong, full-bodied French press coffee? Maybe you’ll order a café au lait if you’re feeling Parisian, but never anything that involves a pump of syrup.
The Night Owl: Iced Coffee
Iced coffee drinkers are a different breed. It could be snowing outside, and you’d still be clutching an iced oat milk latte like it’s summer in LA. You’re the night owl of the group — somehow energetic at 2 AM but impossible to wake before noon.
Deadlines? You thrive under pressure. Social plans? You’re down for anything (as long as there’s caffeine involved). You live life on your terms, and your coffee choices reflect that. Your go-to order is obviously iced coffee, although you might order a cold brew on days you really need the caffeine.
But Seriously Though…
No matter what coffee personality type you identify with, your coffee should work as hard as you do. That’s why we made our Mushroom Coffee. With L-theanine to keep you feeling calm, lion’s mane to encourage focus and mental clarity, and collagen to support gut and skin health, it’s basically self-care in a cup.
Chaga supports the immune system, and a smooth coffee extract keeps that classic coffee taste intact — minus the jitters. Whether you’re a black coffee purist, a PSL enthusiast, or an espresso tonic pioneer, this is the way to level up your coffee with truly superior benefits. If you’re drinking coffee daily, why not make it work for you?
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, your coffee order says a lot about you — but there’s no wrong way to caffeinate. Whether you’re a minimalist, a trendsetter, or someone who just needs caffeine in any form, your coffee personality is uniquely yours.
No matter what you drink, make sure your coffee is pulling double duty. Try any of our mushroom blends, opens in a new tab today and feel the Dose difference.
Sources:
Oat Milk by Default | The Better Food Foundation, opens in a new tab
Coffee Jargon: Espresso 'Ristretto’ | Serious Eats, opens in a new tab
Start your day The Right Way
